The Gift of Girlfriends

Last night, I had the good fortune to reconnect with some amazing girlfriends. We are a group of pre-school moms that “grew up” together as our girls grew up together, sharing the pains, joys, frustrations and ridiculousness of raising children, working, crazy husbands, and life.  Continue reading “The Gift of Girlfriends”

Balance doesn’t exist

I have never been very balanced in my approach to things. I’ve been all or nothing for everything. Sports. Work. School. Love….  You get the idea!

Balance

I jump into what I’m doing head first because it is the only way that I know how to do things. When I’m working, I’ve been an 80-hour-a-week girl or I’m not successful. I told my husband that I loved him after three weeks of dating. Granted, my hubby isn’t the most balanced individual either, but I love him for it. This approach has worked well for me throughout the first 28 years of my life, and then, it just didn’t.

My oldest son was born with a bang! He was a month early via emergency c-section as I was in the midst of severe pre-eclampsia. I had worked 70-hours trying to finish up some major projects while also trying to prep for my in-laws holiday celebration. Probably not my wisest moment. My little man spent two weeks in the hospital, and I spent 10 days there.  My husband was terrified, my mom had to fly in three weeks early after the doctors finally realized my horrible headache was a brain hemorrhage. To say the least, it was an adventure.

Since that crazy day, I’ve continued to struggle to find that perfect balance. Less work, more work. Less TV, more TV. Less wine, more wine. For eight years, no matter what I try, I constantly feel unbalanced. Is it me? Is it everyone? What can I do better?

My hypothesis – BALANCE IS AN ILLUSION. Single or married. Kids or no kids. We all constantly struggle with finding balance. It’s why there are is a booming business in self-help books and programs. I am fairly confident that 90% of personal bloggers touch on it at some point in time.

We all want balance. The perfect balance. But life changes on us. It evolves from week to week and day-to-day. Today, we live our lives from meeting to meeting and event to event. Half of us rely on our digital calendars, others use their day planners, and most of the rest have a calendar hung up somewhere in the home.

How do you find true balance when the structure that helps you navigate your life is rigid and inflexible? I am not convinced you can. Instead, I think you have to look at yourself and understand where you can adapt and evolve. Drop something that you are comfortable with – either short-term or long-term. Recognize that true balance is fluid. One week, work might need more, and one week,our family may need more. Hell, one week you need to focus on you more. Allow yourself to be flexible and you might find that real balance is actually coming from embracing an evenly unbalanced life.